A mother's confession

I grew up with my grand parents, they're two loving person: grandma was a good cook and made sure me and my little cousin were well fed and looked after when we were away from our own parents; grandpa was even a better one, he seldom cook but once he did, you wouldn't want to miss that! He was the big chef for every CNY eve dinner, put on a 16-18 course menu was not a problem at all! He was an engineer and loved to read, I remembered the times that I sneak into our old attic, dug through his collection of books... I enjoyed his collection of Chinese books and English books though I didn't know any English at all then but I simply indulged myself into the smell of these old books and the best of that, I found myself became a treasure hunter. Grandpa loved stamp collecting, he had many different stamps and hid them in his books. While I was browsing the books, they flew out like feathers. I doubt if he had ever remembered it as he had never asked me for the stamps which I keep them safely now in my books.

Away from one's own parents was so painful, but I know they didn't have any choice then. I recall the time I was crying under the blanket for missing mom and dad badly but there was nothing I could do either. I think I told myself that if I become a parent one day, I would never never be apart from my children when they were young.

So here I am, with two children. One of them thinks she is already a teenager... I can't blame anyone for that, lol. She is a very kind hearted girl with great interest in books and music. When I started to work in my current school, I made her to transfer with me. At age of 5 1/2, she arrived in this totally new enviroment, no friend, unfimiliar faces, hearing her complain every afternoon and seeing her wondered in the playgound alone was unbearible, I wished that she could get over it soon. She eventually picked up all the new things and now she is a very confident pupil in her year group, sings in school and plays violin in school's junior ochestra. This year the biggest thing is the Egyptian sleepover, all the children in the year group have been learning everything about Egypt through the year and to end of it they will dress up as Egyptian, have a Egyptian style feast, a talent show and all sleep in school. Dress up is usual for them, they have all sorts of function over the years, she has been all disney princess and refused to be one any more after she turned 7, then became the characters she likes in her books.

She has been practising very hard for this talent show and I worked very hard on her Egyptian dress, at the same time, I worried about her sleepover: can she sleep? does she like the blanket? will she eat the other food? too many to list all down, lol. It's such a joy to watch her growing up but deep down there, she is still my little baby girl, the previous first born.

Tell you the truth, all sorts of thoughts were in my head last night, I sent her to school in the afternoon and went home alone. I knew she would be fine, but woman like me, just worries too much. I came to school really early this morning just wanted to see if she is fine. Well, of course, she is! super fine despite her messy hair and she told me that she missed me a lot! Oh, that's exactly the word I wanted to hear...

Love you always, my darling.